Six Years Ago
by Inu Manna
Summary: Following the Death Note time line or as close to it as possible , Mello thinks about the past six years and comes a conclusion about his so called rival, Near... Mello/Near Spoilers a head is you haven't read the manga or watched the show.


Six years ago it all began for me...

Something happened five years ago, time had stood still for us at Wammy's, especally for you. The only other person besides yourself that you had ever cared about was gone. It had hit us all pretty hard but it seems you were affected the most. Although you never showed any emotions, to anyone, you tried to remain impassive. I could hear it though. In the words that you spoke, your voice trembled slightly. You kept your head down, eyes on the puzzle below you. I wondered if you were crying. I couldn't see your face but I could hear it in your voice. Then I remembered…No. Innocent, perfect, always-number-one Near doesn't cry…doesn't show emotion; he doesn't know how.

Five years ago we learned that "L", our idol, had died at the hands of Kira. The two of us being the top students at Wammy's made us the only liable successors to "L". He should have chosen just one of us to replace him but he never had the time. He was cruelly snatched away from us in the line of duty so that only meant one thing; you and I had to work together to finish what "L" had started…to capture and bring Kira to justice.

Five years ago I made a decision deciding my future. I left Wammy's, for good. I couldn't bare the thought of working along side you, Near. As much as I wanted the title of "L" for myself, I despised the fact that it wouldn't just be me as "L's" successor; you and I both, together as one, would be the new "L". It was too much for me to take in all at once. It seemed in less five minutes my life had changed drastically. My idol had been killed, he hadn't had time to choose a successor thus you and I were forced to be "L" as one, and my hatred for the perfect boy known as you grew to a dangerous level in conclusion, leaving me no choice but to leave what I had called Home all my life. Everyone knew you and I didn't get along. I hated you, hated everything about you especially that you always came number one in everything. Perfect, emotionless Near. I gave you and everyone else what they wanted. There couldn't be two people to be one person so I gave it up. I let you be "L's" successor and I walked out; leaving Rodger, you, Wammy's, my home and few friends behind. It was time to begin a new chapter in my life.

* * *

About four years ago, at the age of sixteen, I began the hunt for Kira. I had no one but myself to look after (other than Matt but he doesn't count), no ties to anyone, no allies to back me up if I got into trouble, no one. Little did I realize that sooner or later I would need help, that I couldn't do this alone and more than I'd like to admit, I needed you. I needed Near.

Three or so years ago I came to a realization; that I had left something important behind. The only solid piece of evidence left in this world linking me to Wammy's and my old life; a photograph. It was of me, at the age of fifteen just before I left. To make matters worse was the one who held on to it, the one I hated more than anyone else in this world; you. It had seemed that our overdue reunion was coming up soon. Too soon.

Soon afterwards we finally met again. Not much has changed in you since I left. Still the same, innocent, perfect, always-number-one Near you were back then. Yet I have changed. My feeling towards the world and the people in it had taken a turn for the worst. When I saw you sitting there so calmly and unemotionally, it made my blood boil. For a fleeting moment I felt as if I could have killed you. I had the gun pointing at your head, finger on the trigger, ready to end your perfect life. But of course I was stopped. Hal always had a soft spot for you. After getting what I came for I left. I should have felt more relieved but something had been bothering me. I couldn't stop thinking about you. Even all the way back to my apartment you still consumed my every thought. I hated to admit this but even way back at Wammy's it had been like that. I was always thinking about you. I would plot against you, try and beat you at everything but it never worked. No matter how hard I tried I always came in second, right behind you. I hated you for it. I hated you for making me always think about you. I needed to rid myself of you somehow…but I soon realized that it was not going to be an easy task.

* * *

We continued the investigation and search for Kira separately. A year or so had gone by and although we both had our speculations as to whom Kira really was, there wasn't enough evidence to back up our claim. Throughout all this, my mind would wander back to you, Near. It was becoming a pain. I was older now and I started to see that maybe I didn't hate you as much as I thought. I don't think I ever did hate you. I was jealous and envious. But these dreams and feelings…they way I think about you. My chest hurts when I picture you hurt or looking emotional at anyone but me. I believe Matt called it worry, jealousy and possessiveness… I think I had known for years that maybe you meant something to me. In our younger years I remember watching you. I always wanted to make you show some sort of emotion. Your eyes were always so blank and uncaring; I wanted to make you feel. That's when the weird thoughts and dreams started. It had made me very confused and scared so I made myself think I hated you more and more. Yet as time went on, the dreams were more vivid and I had no control over my own body anymore. I used "L's" death as an excuse to leave. To try and prove that I hated you and that I didn't need you. But as time went on, the investigation continued and my feeling for you grew into something much deeper than envy or just plain attraction; I was in love with you. Or should I say, I've always been in love with you, it's just taken me years to realize it…

* * *

In the present it seems our separate investigations have reached a critical point. This game is becoming much too dangerous and Kira isn't leaving us with much options. He seems to be a step or two ahead of us. Or maybe it's just me. I decide that it's time to take matters into my own hands once again. After being burned and almost killed once before by Kira, my luck will only last so long. I must do something I should have done a long time ago or else I'll regret it for the rest of my after life.

I have set up a meeting time and place for us to talk. I expect you to show up with Hal or one of your other SPK members but you don't, you come alone. Again you look the same; dressed in the same white pajamas, socks, toys at your side and fingers twirling your hair. I have to smirk at this. _How cute_, I think. You avoid my gaze for a few seconds before I'm right in front of you, invading your personal space. When you finally look up I can't help but widen my smirk. Looking into your emotionless eyes send a jolt of electricity through my body. I want those eyes to show me some sort of emotion. I place my hands on either side of your face, cupping your cheeks in my palms. _Ah_, I think, _there it is. _Your eyes widen slightly at the contact and a light blush creeps across your cheeks as I move in closer. My breath ghosts across you nose and lips and I hear you gasp silently. Our eyes are still locked. I can't tear my eyes away from yours. I've never see you like this before Near. So much emotion and reaction…I find myself wondering how much further you will let me go, how much more emotions and…reactions I can get out of you. I softly brush my lips against yours and that's when your eyes flutter closed. I feel your soft hands grip the front of my vest and I note smugly, you're trembling. I move my hands down your neck and shoulders and draw you up against me. I hear a small moan escape through your lips so I take advantage of it and plunge my tongue into your sweet mouth. _Ironically_, I think, _Near taste like mint chocolate_. You make a small whimpering noise and I can feel you shaking even more. Almost reluctantly I pull away, panting. Both of us are flushed and breathing rather hard. After we finally catch our breaths you open your eyes but don't look at me. I frown and reach out to hold you but you take a step back.

"Why…?" you ask softly with next to no emotion in your voice. This upsets me. I growl and take a step forward, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards me. Your eyes widen and you stumble forward into my waiting arms with a startled gasp. I hold onto you, wrapping my arms protectively around your shoulders and hiding my face in the crook of your neck.

"Because…" I don't feel I can answer his question. I suddenly feel very vulnerable scared. If I tell you and you reject me…my plan will be for naught. You look down at me, waiting for me to answer.

"We'll meet again." I state simply before untangling myself from you and standing up. I can't face you. Not yet. It's just not the right time. I can feel your gaze on me as I head towards the door. Then I remembered something. Stopping at the entrance I reach into my pocket and pull out a small box and a envelope. I turn and toss it so it lands almost in front of you. You gaze at me, confused.

"Mello…" you start. Before you finish I cut it.

"There's something I need to do. I can't say for certain when or if we'll see each other again but know this; inside that box is something important to me. Something I wouldn't give to just anyone. I want you to keep it. Don't open the letter. What it says is something that I would like to tell you in person, if I have another chance. Just know that if something should happen to me…then I want you to open the envelope. But for now just wait. Please. I know I'm not making any sense just trust me ok Near?" I turn and look at you one last time. You hold my gifts to your chest and nod slowly. I nod in return and turn away from you, never looking back as I walk out of your life once more but this time…forever.

End?


End file.
